Dear Ones,
ALCHEMY is the consistent underlying art form in this pilgrimage as a creative being - whatever - the medium or task; teaching, composing, blowing wind through a pipe, painting, even meditating….
The process of ALCHEMY demands courage and love in order to harvest the plethora of emotional ingredients to use in the food of music, painting…etc. PATIENCE is demanded of us to develop the technical elegance of skills to transform these ingredients of sound, feeling, sight, relating…
Although it takes time to cultivate technique - if the “IT” is there - that special something …. that ability to courageously TASTE the ingredients of AUTHENTICITY, the IT will come through.
At 54, I feel like I’m in an interesting perspective point along this journey as a student/teacher/life long creative….
As I go forward I am exploring more and more this ALCHEMY .
E VERY year, there is a new harvest of GRAPES (emotions - the pas de deux of relating to the macrocosm as a microcosm).
How do you grow your grapes? How do you harvest? How do you stomp the grapes, barrel them up, store, ferment, bottle and serve?
In the work “DREAMS OF THE BLACK SWAN” a trio for flute, oboe and bassoon - I consciously did a lot of alchemy. It helped. I sat down and tasted a lot of bitter and painful emotions. The thorns and daggers in my heart. With as much patience, courage and compassion as I could muster, I listened to the echos of these torments. I listened to my younger self, as if I were listening to a younger student whom I loved and cared about. That strategy helped. It was like ruff tangy tasting of bitter grapes from the barrel that were left to ferment.
Next, with compassion, I listened to inspiration to transform the pain into sound, lovingly. To do this lovingly, I had to FEEL and RESPECT the difficulty of these feelings, give them wings so they could fly away with beauty.
Another way to put it, is to acknowledge the pain, grind it like a mortal and pestle with loving attention and make a paste.
Add inspiration - and you have wine. Add technique and you have a bottle of containment - i.e. the written page.
Not all feelings are sweet. Not all music as food is a light desert, nor should it all be. We have cuisine - we have emotions, we have sonic food for a FULL COURSE MEAL complete with wine.
As I travel this pilgrimage as a creative, it helps me a lot to have some skills so I can transmute via alchemy the slings and arrows and agonies of the human experience into sound.
Now, that it’s been years since composing “DREAMS OF THE BLACK SWAN” I find myself needing to do more alchemy (every year is a new season of grapes - as well as many other ingredients in the garden of life - . Now I am using my “grapes” as I compose 100 Longings for oboe d’amore - these are solo works.
So - if you are an artist of some medium, how do you embrace this blog for your own benefits?
Sit quietly and listen to the most painful feelings of your life experience like you are listening to a younger person you truly love. Do so courageously - do not be afraid to feel - emotions are like wind storms - THEY PASS - emotions are not solid, they flow like water - courage is your life raft. If you are afraid then either wait until you are stronger or older or get help you can trust. If not - then shelve it - until you are ready. THERE IS NO HURRY. You can barrel up your bitter grapes into a casket for a later time (like I did) and if and when you are ready, listen compassionately to yourself, and then follow it up by practicing your craft be it composing, or painting, or dancing in silence or writing poetry or shaping clay or cooking a stew or planting bulbs in the garden - sewing, knitting - writing a letter to your younger self or older self or best friend or become your best friend or become a loving best friend to someone else, or take a dog for a walk…go fly a kite and celebrate the listening and liberation of the shadows of your heart set free.
From despair to beauty is a wonderful thing. From bitterness to deliciousness is a glorious gift for yourself and if you wish - you can share your art with others.
BEST WISHES for peace, and the growth of love consciousness.
The more we can embrace our own bitter feelings and shadows, the more we can be loving and compassionate. It takes COURAGE. Empathy and awareness and courage - real emotional face the music - courage are the building blocks of loving higher consciousness leading to peace and well being for us all.
K.J.P.
January 24, 2020